Sticky Thoughts

I dunno. Huh? I don’t know. I honestly do not know.

I’m not sure. I couldn’t say. Beats me. I can’t be certain.

Who knows? It’s anyone’s guess. I really have no idea.

I haven’t the foggiest. In fact, I don’t have a clue.

…

Do you?

To take a step toward madness,
To walk into the storm;
To dwell upon the vastness,
And shun the blinding swarm.

To slip beneath the waves,
And sink into the gloom;
To swim among the graves,
And watch the tangles bloom…

It can take a lifetime to learn
What we wish we had known from the start;
Though you might fumble,
With each step just follow your heart.

Clichéd as that sounds,
There’s no other way really to go,
And that is true now
As much as it was long ago.

There are no words
To describe how I feel,
My staggering need
To burst from the shell

I’ve made, or that’s been made
By the world, to contain
All the dreams that
Struggle to break

Free, to escape,
To be real,
To take on a shape,
And find a mind
Other than mine
To steal.

Such a curse is a smile
Shone our way,
Contaminates the heart
And invades the day.

It stirs the coals of longing
And throws fuel upon the flame
That burns me; yet I wonder
Which of us to blame,

For who can really know
The damage they do
With a look;
Or, for the starved,
The crumbs they might
Leave behind.

I go around in circles
And walk a trail already made
From days before, from months and years
Of games already played.

Time wanders by and pauses
To see my strange parade,
And wonders at the point and sense
Of my cyclical crusade.

I wonder, too, what wisdom
Has led me back around;
If one more go, if one more try
Will show me different ground.

I’m angry at you
For not being able to see inside my head;
I’m angry at myself
For not knowing how to show what can’t be said.

So very angry
That my veneer conceals too much,
That it obscures what’s underneath.
I’m angry, bursting
To expose and let you find
What you won’t take the time to look for.

There is a light somewhere in there,
I swear!
Worlds and worlds inside my mind,
Too far away from sight

And I am angry, raging mad
And furious, seeing red,
Because you won’t comprehend -

So very angry, going mad,
Despairing, so misread -
How much is mere pretend.

He found
But did not seek;
Could not recognize
A soul unique.

Too jaded by the crowds;
Eyes open wide,
He fooled his mind and fled
Somewhere inside.

I waited there,
So long for him to see,
But could not hope
For what would never be.

Hear
The desperate call,
Hear
The desperate cry;
See
The longing look,
See
The downcast eye.

Hear
The silent whisper,
Hear
The wretched sigh;
Feel
The aching hunger,
See
How much he tries;

Tries
And tries again,
But seems always to go wrong.

So desperate to find love…
Strange
That hope can burn so long.

And so it goes, on and on, running onwards, racing on.

And so they go, the hours and days and weeks and months; time goes flying on.